Chix Chat Pro Football

So what’s up with this eye black stuff? You see these players wear it all the time but what purpose does it really serve?

Nobody asked me but I think it’s a fashion statement more than anything else. I mean, truth be told the lady players in the Lingerie Football League (coming to a Ravens Chix Flocking on Oct. 27) wear it for fashion. The NFL players would never admit it but you can’t tell me that stuff actually cuts down on the sun’s glare. Why don’t you see lifeguards wearing that stuff if this were really true?

Look they wear that stuff when it’s cloudy and they wear it indoors too! Maybe someone could sell me that the sun is in fact more attracted to the eye black than say one’s skin. But what about those bzillion light bulbs at night in a stadium or in the domes? Are they attracted to the eye black?

Sorry, not buying!

Maybe the players just want to look more menacing and they put it on. You hear players refer to each other as warriors and they say silly things like, “It’s time to go to war.” So maybe that black gunk is their war paint. You have to admit it makes some of those dudes look pretty bad ass, you know?

If I was a quarterback and I saw Ray Lewis staring at me from the other side of the line, I’d be a little worried. No. 52 is a pretty intense guy and I could see where that stuff might work to his advantage.

But how do you explain Tom Brady wearing the eye black? On him it’s about as intimidating as a bad eyeliner job on Mrs. Brady. I don’t see Joe Flacco wearing it. Peyton Manning? Nope.

What’s next Tom, lip gloss to make you more wind resistant?


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