Chix Chat Pro Football

It sucks to be a Clevelander

Posted by Thursday, November 18, 2010

Cleveland sucks! Talk about a statement of the obvious.

Look up Cleveland in the dictionary and it is listed as a synonym for “hell” only there, hell does freeze over.

If given a choice between Cleveland and hell, relatively speaking hell is Club Med.

So why this random rant about the Mistake on the Lake?

Hold that thought!

Everybody knows about Cleveland, the city with a river so polluted it once caught on fire. Legend has it that some guy, probably a drunk, was walking along the shores of Lake Erie, flicked his cigarette into the water, and holy smokes the thing blew up like the Godfather!

Anyone remember the movie Major League based on an imaginary Cleveland Indians team that wanted to high tail it out of town? Not a lot of imagination there is it? Everyone wants to leave Cleveland.

Cleveland sucks so bad that they had to film Major League II in Baltimore and pretend it was Cleveland. I'm sure that’s how most Clevelanders cope – they pretend they are somewhere else.

Remember the last time the Cleveland Indians made it to the post season? I do. You know why? The players were swarmed under by a plethora of flying six-legged creatures. In Cleveland they call that home field advantage. Jacobs Field is the only stadium in the league where they hand out OFF after they take your ticket.

Remember a couple of years back the Browns locker room was a cesspool of staph infection?

Or what about the time the refs made a couple of bad calls and the pleasant Cleveland fans littered the field with beer bottles?

And they all bitch about Art Modell leaving that place? Maybe they are all just too pissed off that they haven’t left yet! Oh and while I’m no LeBron James fan who can fault him for getting out of Cleveland. Let’s see, South Beach…Cleveland…brain…brain on drugs.

You get the picture…

The media seems to enjoy chastising Philadelphia fans. How do these bozos in Cleveland get a hall pass? They are the worst and it’s not even close!

Just the other day I read a story about how a family of Jets fans went to Cleveland to watch their team take on the host Browns. After the Jets’ overtime win, the family made their way to the parking lot and along the walk they were verbally abused. You see the 8-year-old little boy in the family was sporting a Jets’ jersey.

And if that weren’t enough, some drunk a$$ Browns fan – an adult mind you, decides to tackle the little boy. He goes down, scrapes and bruises his ankle and the family, fearing the mob, gets in their car and drives away.

Props to the father of that family. I’m sure most men would retaliate and defend their son. But he was sensible. I mean if these clowns would tackle an 8-year-old, what might they do in numbers to the boy’s Mom and Dad.

Burn Cleveland Burn.

You suck!


  1. You Baltimore people have room to talk with all your murders, STDs, drugs. At least we care in Cleveland. You let your team walk away then stole ours.

  2. What you really did Mayor White is whore yourself to the Cavs, Indians, Rock n Roll Hall of fame and probably crack and then stuck it to Art Modell. Then when he had enough and left you cried a Nile River that nearly made Lake Erie clean enough to dump hot coals into without the coals blowing up.

    You people are such insufferable punks you make Keith Olberman seem like Mr. Rodgers. Screw Cleveland!


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