Chix Chat Pro Football

For those Chix attending M&T Bank Stadium on Sunday, here are a few ground rules about attending a Ravens home game in January!

1. Purples on your Nurples – Playoffs, Chix! This isn’t Week 6, hosting the Texans, looking to stretch out our third string Kickers’ hamstrings. Put on every Ravens and Purple piece of clothing you own (because it WILL be cold on Sunday). If you can afford a ticket to be here, you can certainly afford the performance gear to keep you warm for a few hundred minutes or so.

2. Dress Smart, Not Tart - Chix, don’t dress to impress your fellow skanks. Sunday is NOT the day to tout your new 4-inch heeled streetwalkin’ boots you got for your birthday. Dress to stay warm, so your lungs can work properly for maximum noise making purposes.

3. Positive thoughts, positive words - It’s a known fact that successful athletes create a mental image of their desired outcome. Billy Cundiff visualizes the pigskin passing through the uprights for the game-winning field goal…in the 2012 AFC Championship Game…against the Denver Broncos…at home…BUT I DIGRESS. Ravens Chix, if we send 70,000+ passionate purple people into the crib on Sunday with positivity exuding from their minds, bodies, and spirits? I guarantee there is no way we can lose. (Yup, I said guar-an-tee).

4. Tailgate and get on Ravens24x7 – Even if you don’t know anyone with a tailgate, you’ll find people to lend you a beer and a dawg (as long as you’re bleeding purple). So head down early. And if you’re hot? Well then, Tony will put your picture right here on this very web site.

5. Read the Rules – When you come to the stadium, there are MALE lines and there are WE-ARE-FEMALE-HEAR-US-ROAR lines. So don’t piss us Chix off by bringing your backpack full of umbrellas and weapons. (Here is the full list of prohibited items…)

6. Don’t Be a Jerk – We want a safe, fun place where opposing fans can enjoy themselves up until the point where we send their team home in body bags. Sending fans home that way is frowned upon. (At least that’s what my lawyer says.)

7. But Be Safe – Put this number into your cell phone (NOW, that’s an order, Chix!!!…78247). This is Ravens “Fan Assistance” to anonymously TEXT your Section and Row Number to report issues. Don’t overuse it (you WILL encounter drunk people, just so you know) but if you feel un-safe don’t hesitate. We never want Ravens stadium to end up on the news like some other sorry places.

8. LOUD, LOUD, LOUD – When the DEFENSE takes the field, we stand and SCREAM our dang fool heads off.!!! It doesn’t matter if it’s first quarter, or if we are 3 TDs ahead. If our DEFENSE is on the field, we are LOUD! Otherwise, shut your mouth. I better not hear one fan who attended M&T Bank Stadium on Sunday calling into the radio stations on Monday, because as far as I’m concerned, you should NOT have a voice after Sunday’s game.

9. Watch This – If I haven’t inspired you (or even if I have), you must go watch this video. It’s called “Death on Wings” uploaded to YouTube on Sep 11, 2007 by painkiller12345678. If this doesn’t turn you into a 12th (Wo)man for the Ravens, then turn in your jersey at the next toll booth. (As a disclaimer: I have no affiliation with this video or its creator but I have it bookmarked and I watch it whenever I have doubts.) If you’re going to the game Sunday, please spend 6 ½ minutes watching “Death on Wings” on You Tube. And bookmark it. Believe me, you’ll want to revisit it even after Ray retires.

10. And Then Come Home – If you haven’t seen the new video “
Coming Home” on the Ravens home web page, go check it. Our boys are COMING HOME! And we are the 12th (Wo)man, so let’s make sure we do our part to bring home the “W”!

Mind your x’s and o’s


  1. Anonymous Says:
  2. I HEAR you Purple Maven!

  3. Kosmo Krys Says:
  4. Purple Maven!

    Thank you for setting us straight on the Chica rules! I've got em all down and would like to add one more.
    Chix when its time to head to the ladies room,please get it done ASAP. We are all gonna have a lot of gear start shedding it early! While your are waiting in line - prep for your visit. Until the Ravens add TVs in the restrooms no one wants to spend any extra time waiting in line to tinkle!
    Rave On!
    Kosmo Krys


Post a Comment