I was elated to have the opportunity to blog for Ravens Chix; however, I found myself at a loss as to just what to write about being we are in the offseason. I realize I can write about whatever sparks my interest, however, to all who know me know that my passion is our beloved Baltimore Ravens. I told myself, if I decided to embark upon this blogging adventure, I’d write about what I love. As these thoughts tumbled through my brain, forces outside of myself laid a shocking and saddening event at my feet which made me pause and reevaluate just how I’d begin this chapter.
This week I learned that an old friend that I had lost touch with committed suicide, allegedly connected to a domestic dispute.
This event shook my world, and made me pause and reevaluate my life.
We shared a love of football, in fact that was what brought us together many years ago. On a random night approximately 6 years ago I received a message through yahoo messenger from a stranger asking me "how such an avid Ravens fan ended up in the heart of Redskins territory" ; and our friendship began. He was a loyal friend, and was always there when I needed him, whether as a listening ear or to help me move.
Friends, you really know your friends when they help you move!
The first few days after discovering he had committed suicide were difficult, and I ran through so many questions in my mind, starting with the first resounding WHY? He had a difficult year, but I always saw him as a strong person who would bounce back and be stronger than ever. I suppose the saying is true, that sometimes those that appear the strongest are the ones that need someone the most.
Unfortunately I, like others thought he was the strongest of us all and he would rise from the ashes of his obstacles like a Phoenix having reinvented his entire life. I am so deeply saddened that he lost his way, and that I didn't try to reconnect with him to make sure he was alright.
I lead a very busy life, a full time job, college, a teenager, and family; however, if I had one moment to change something, I would have reached out, just 5 minutes to ask, are you ok?
We are all busy, and can sometimes get caught up in the hustle and bustle, but the lesson I learned from this horrible experience and loss is to never lose sight of my compassion for others, and to always extend the gift of friendship to those that need it the most, for we never know when someone has gotten off course and our simple gesture might pull them back on track.
I will be thinking of my friend this year when the Ravens play the Redskins in what the NFL loves to call "The Battle of the Beltway".
This game will hold meaning to me far beyond my love of football.
Rest in peace my friend.