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I suck at being a wife!

Posted by Friday, May 18, 2012

For some reason this popped into my head while I was in the midst of that love/hate relationship with the treadmill this morning.  I think he might actually have a valid point. It’s true, I admit it, I suck at being a wife. 
He tells me this all the time to which I sarcastically respond.   I am far from June Cleaver nor am I an under achieving mom, I’m just somewhere stuck in the middle.   But hey that’s me……….he married me. 
After 12 years, he knows me by now.  I’m not saying it has all been peaches and cream, but we make it work.  I know I irritate him most of the time on purpose, just because I can.  Marriage is having that one person you can irritate for the rest of your life and they cannot do anything about it!
Now, let me get back to my short falls and explain to you why I suck as a wife.
1.        I can’t keep a house to save my life

God love my MIL but she had OCD.  Her house is always perfect.  She cleans every weekend and I’m talking deep cleaning.   I, on the other hand, clean when he starts nagging or people are coming over.  I think making the bed is a useless chore because it’s just going to get messed up anyways.  I have an excuse though:  I have a spawn of the devil almost 4 year old that leaves a path of destruction in his wake who I apparently don’t feed enough since he is STARVING every 2 minutes.  I hate washing dishes and I think that clothes should be disposable.  That damn cleaning fairy keeps skipping my house.  Next time I see her, I’m clipping her wings!

1.        I hold grudges

I’m still pissed about a time 11 years ago when we were playing on the same softball team he sat me on the bench and put a guy in my place that couldn’t make the throw from second to first base!  We have learned that we cannot play on the same softball team:  him at shortstop, me at 3rd base, not a good mix.  If he would learn not to be a ball hog and let me actually PLAY 3rd like I have for years, we’d get along a lot better. 

2.        I am a slacker in the “keeping myself up” department

I live in yoga pants, I only wear make-up if we are going somewhere, and I only shave when I need too.  If I actually do my hair it means that I am really bored or I am playing “ignore the 3 year old.”  I loathe shaving and during the winter my legs hibernate which means by spring, you could probably braid the hair.  Yea, I know not a very good visual. 

3.        I do not take proper care of my husband.

I do not make him breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I tell him to suck it up when he’s sick, and if he falls asleep on the couch I leave his butt there……..most of the time.  He makes his own lunch during the week and he’s lucky if I remember to take anything out for dinner.  I am a good cook as long as I have a recipe to follow.   I do have good intentions, I try. I just usually get side-tracked by having to referee between boys or chase the dog out of the garden or argue with an almost 4 year old as to why he cannot ride down the stairs in the laundry basket.  The Hubs is a big boy, he can take care of himself. 

Wow!  Did I actually give the Hubs validity in his statement? 

I actually feel sorry for him.

.............okay that feeling has passed. 

To find the humor in all of this, you have to understand our relationship.  We bicker constantly and we are both stubborn to a fault but we do love each other and this is us. 

Despite my undomesticated abilities, he still loves me and that’s all a girl can ask for. 

Plus, I am 99.9% sure he didn’t marry me for my cleaning abilities. 


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